Dating money talk
How comfortable do they seem about the cost of their lifestyle?
Do they share in mutual expenses, or is there always the expectation that you will pay?
At some point, as a relationship grows and becomes more serious between two people, questions begin to arise about long-term plans, particularly as it begins to become clear that at least a significant portion of two lives are going to overlap and become one.
For my wife and I, these discussions started about a year before our wedding.
I don’t remember my earliest conversations with my husband, Ken, about money.
We must have talked about splitting the bill in those early days of dating (just out of college, both totally broke), but I do remember the first time we discussed a big purchase. I was visiting family in Texas, and Ken called to ask if it was okay if he spent 0 on a bass amp.
Another area to pay attention to is future aspirations.
Since this is very much a "getting to know you" phase, you should restrict information gathering to casual observation. How well do they live in comparison to their peers?
Talking about money with anyone (even yourself) can be awkward as hell.
And it gets even more complicated when you’re having the conversation with the person you’re sleeping with.
We’d been talking about moving in together, but hadn’t taken those steps yet. I took it as a sign that he was serious about the relationship.
(For the record, neither of us can remember if he actually bought the amp; the band has long since broken up.)In the years since, we’ve had hundreds of conversations about money.